Memories of 9/11

7 years ago today I was sitting at my desk at Goldman Sachs on the 49th floor of One New York Plaza (about 7 blocks from the World Trade Center) listening to a daily morning conference call from analysts in HK discussing Asian stocks when the first plane flew into the south tower. I remembered clearly as yesterday that it was a beautiful, crisp, blue sky day. I looked up at the nearest flat panel TV screen that was mounted on a wall, while I put my phone on mute. When the TV camera panned in the gaping hole I thought to myself what a huge hole it was, that it has to be a commercial jetliner (news were scant then and the TV commentators remarked that a small propeller plane flew into the tower); was the pilot drunk; doesn’t one have to clear above 33,000 feet when flying? The trading floor was buzzing with queries and speculations, but no one seemed to be too perturbed, until the north tower was struck!

The conference call concluded shortly and a group of us went into one of the Managing Directors’ office to get a closer view as his office had a diagonal view of the 2 towers (GS was the second tallest building besides the twin towers in the Wall Street area then). As the north tower was partially in front of the south tower from our vantage point, we could only see dark smoke and flames billowing out in the distance. And suddenly we heard a loud roar from the left side and saw this plane going full throttle straight for the north tower (imagine a straight line going from left to right) and boom, the plane crashed into the building and our floor shook; and in SLOW MOTION (yes, that was the first and only time in my life I saw things happened in slow motion) the perimeter of the floors that were hit in the north tower burst into red flames, with what appeared to be lots of white papers flying out of the burning square and floating in the air.

Immediately there was an announcement over the intercom system ordering us to evacuate the building. I remember the shaking voice of the fire Marshall as she instructed us to calmly form a line to proceed to the nearest exit and walk down to the lobby. It was the most orderly evacuation as we would stop on every floor to allow others to file in front of us down the staircase. It took over 30 minutes for us to get to the lobby level from the 49th floor.

I walked out onto the street and my youngest brother happened to drive by the building and saw me and offered to give me a lift, which I turned down because he lived in the opposite side of town and I didn’t want to trouble him, and also because I thought the subway was running. Soon I was told all transportation had been shut. I had on a pair of 2” heels which was not in the best of shape, and since all transportation was shut, the thought of me walking about 4 miles home was a daunting one, so I decided to hop into a shoe repair shop nearby to fix my heels before I trek home. As I was waiting for the heels to be repaired, the radio announcer broadcasted that the south tower had just collapsed! I thought surely it must have fallen sideways and crushed other buildings, imagine the collateral damage? I never thought a building could implode so I was puzzled by the sky being darkened with heavy smoke, dust and debris. Everyone began running towards the highway FDR Drive. I told the shoe repairman I needed my shoes back and I ran along with everyone else, not knowing what to expect but simply that we needed to run away from the debris. Every time we hear a plane overhead (by now it was the jetfighters) everyone would look towards the sky and wonder if we will be shot at. It was a scene from war or earthquake, one that I could only envision in a movie, up till that point.

9/11 will be forever etched deeply into the recesses of my brain for one thing – that day we all became the United Human Race, irrespective of where we came from or our stations in life. People helped each other climb over the embankment onto the highway; offered water to those who needed to cleanse their faces masked with dust; gave each other their cell phones to try to reach their love ones. The cellular system was so jammed that it took hours to get through to my family members. The only electronic gadget that worked that day uninterrupted was my BLACKBERRY!! I received countless emails from friends in Asia and the rest of the country beginning with “I hope this email finds you well…….” And I typed back immediately……

Store owners brought their TVs out onto the sidewalk with extension cords so the passer-bys can keep track of the latest development. Bicycles, scooters, skateboards and roller blades were sold out. I stopped into 3 different stores to buy 3 different pairs of flip flops because I had blisters from walking in my heels. I stopped into Veneiros (one of my favorite bakeries) to buy a strawberry shortcake (one of my favorite desserts) to celebrate that I was alive. I left at 9:30 am from One New York Plaza, and I got home at 2:30 pm that afternoon. And that strawberry shortcake was all I subsisted on for the next 4 days while I watched TV over and over and kept pinching myself in the hopes that I was just in a bad dream, and that when I wake up, the world will be alright.

Sadly I lost 3 friends to the attack.

I lost Ron from college, whose wife I used to work with and I set them up, he was survived by his wife and 3 children. Ron was at Fred Alger, above the floors where the plane struck, he managed to relate a message of love to his wife via a colleague's wife who managed to get through to the phone line at Fred Alger.

I lost Tu-Ahn from business school. She also worked at Fred Alger and was survived by her husband and a daughter. Tu-Ahn had just returned to work from maternity leave, one week earlier than her full entitlement.

I lost Mukul, also from business school; he was survived by his wife. Mukul had just moved from San Diego to join Fiduciary Trust and the day before on Sept 10th, I ran into him at the visitor’s check-in desk. As I was getting my picture taken for the visitor’s badge, I turned and recognized Mukul, whom I had not seen in years, he was heading up to the human resource dept of Fiduciary Trust and I was bringing a company management team to visit Fiduciary Trust’s PMs. This was not my account but I was hosting the meeting on behalf of a colleague. We exchanged contact info and Mukul left me a voicemail that afternoon to catch up. Sadly it would be the last time I hear his voice.

I still have my WTC visitor's badge dated Sept 10th, 2001, it was roughly stamped at the same time that the first plane struck on Sept 11th. I often wonder about fate, what if my meeting was on the 11th and not on the 10th? Every time I look at that badge, I have chills down my spine: because the picture on the badge is beginning to fade; and it served as a constant reminder of the atrocities that human beings are capable of inflicting on each other.